A Community for Creative Moms on Instagram - an invitation

He was only three, my oldest son with the high-pitched voice and sweet "Yes, Ma'am." His younger brother was a rolly-polly one year old with a laugh that left a happy trail of slobber. And my belly was so full of baby that I could barely breath. My insides were as cram-packed as our days. Playdates and naps, followed by long walks to the grocery store. We pulled baby brother in the red wagon, picking his sippy-cup off the sidewalk a bazillion times. It was the brothers' first official game. And my feet were swollen. Though the days stretched long, they were full of blessings and babies. No complaints. No complaints. I was humbled and grateful to be there. Yet something strained in a place inside me, deeper than my third born occupied... down deep within my soul. I feared I was losing myself.

Though my life as their mom was a dream come true... there were other dreams I was losing touch with.

The poet and the painter and the prophet, the reader and the thinker, now dormant parts of my life before children - my life creative.

If you're a mom, trying to fit your passions into the practical places of a blessed (but busy) home life, I feel ya. It's not easy - this mashed up, messy experience where motherhood and marriage occupy every square breath.

In this sweet season, raising little people, our creativity, hobbies, and dreams might not fit seamlessly into our days like it once did. Still, I learned in those early years, it is possible for us to gently weave it back into our lives again - as we meet with our children over finger paints, serve our husbands savory new recipes, grow a multi-tiered herb garden in our kitchen window, scrapbook our children's memories, refinish the front porch swing, create hand-sewn banners or chalk board signs, paint the rainbow promise in our journaling Bibles, and sing sweet lullabies to our children at the end of another long day.

This marriage of motherhood and masterpieces is absolutely possible.

Your Life Creative has the potential to be the most beautiful mixed-medium display you've ever imagined. But it can feel isolating. "Am I the only one who feels lost in motherhood? Are there other creative moms who miss their creative hobbies and long for self-expression? Or am I alone as I try to remember the things that used to make my heart soar and sing? Am I the only one looking for ways to fit it in again, right here in my mothering days? The writing, the singing, the painting, the sewing, the dinner parties..."

No. You're not alone.

Creative women, just like you, each with their own unique brand of phenomenal, are part of a modern day Renaissance - overflowing from home offices, nurseries, and kitchens. Moms. Everyday, ordinary moms wearing yoga pants, with their hair thrown up in a messy bun - a child on her hip and another in her belly. Moms making love and making art and making meals. Moms.

Of course, it's not easy. Book writing, canvas painting, graphic designing, home-decorating, recipe-inventing, needle and threading, song-perfecting... with little ones and laundry always calling your name. It doesn't fit like it used to, but it's got to fit... to some degree, even if only in a coloring book beside your toddler with her sweet breath against your cheek.

God didn't screw up when He created you creative and then made you a mom. Creatives don't cease being creative in the midst of motherhood. Their natural bent doesn't just bend over and die with the birth of a child. Instead, it morphs, it ebbs and flows, and eeks out in the most difficult and delightful of moments. A mother's ongoing creativity is a miracle. It's part of her "In His image" design!

And in the very least, if there is no time for our own creativity... we've got to join them in theirs!

My sweet friend, Kelli Stuart and I have written a book on this very subject. Life Creative: Inspiration for Today's Renaissance Mom, begs the question, "What was God thinking when we created us creative and then gave us children? How can we possibly delight in both blessings in the same season?" Unfortunately, our sweet little book doesn't come out until next fall - which feels like forever and a day! And so, to begin the conversation right now, we've started an Instagram page with our über talented friend Alle McCloskey of Finding Eden Media.

Together we hope to encourage and inspire moms to celebrate this part of their lives again - even in the messy midst of motherhood.

Join us today as we launch @lifecreative on Instagram

God did a good job when He made you creative. And He did a good job when He made you a mother. Life Creative is where we celebrate both sides of your miracle design!

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If you long to create; to make and sing and celebrate; write and decorate; if you love art and music, and want to fit all that good stuff into your mothering life again, I invite you to sign up to receive more Life Creative blog posts directly to your email inbox. I'll be speaking more on the subject of creativity and motherhood in the months ahead and would love to turn this monologue into a dialogue. Join me!

Gathering - how to host a tea party

Table settings, linens, and centerpieces - it all came together in such a lovely way yesterday. But no surprise, when women gather together, beautiful things happen. My home was just the backdrop for the glory-crash of 15 lovely hearts. "People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (Samuel 16:7, NIV)

I leaned in between my guests to remove their bread plates, sticky from the swirling remnants of cream and curd, and asked them to keep their forks, "This isn't Downtown Abbey," I said with a smile. And with that I took the plastic dishes to the sink, their laughter trailing behind me.

I've seen it, over and again, how women (busy moms especially) have stopped hosting gatherings in their homes. After all, it's a lot of work, you have a family to care for all day every day, you need space in which to gather, and it costs a pretty penny. And so, without further ado, I'm offering a quick (and hopefully inspiring) post on how to host a tea party without breaking your back, your bank, or your sanity. 1) The cost - You can spend a lot of money throwing a tea party. No lie. But, it's also possible to achieve the same impact with small output. I guarantee, your guests will remember their conversations and the deeply fulfilling way their hearts were satisfied around your table, long after the memories of what you served fade away. Bellies get hungry again in just a few short hours, but hearts stay full for weeks on end! Spend what you can financially, but invest heavily in purposeful prayers and planning.

Find ways to not spend! I designed my own centerpieces for yesterday's party out of three $5.99 bouquets from Trader Joe's. I used the same inexpensive vases I've had on hand for years now. I also spent $20 on new glasses from the 99cent store, because I'm a sucker for all things matchy, and didn't have enough glassware for so many ladies. I was delighted to find green glasses, as green was my accent color for the table.

2) The guests - Maybe you have a few friends who haven't seen one another in months, if not years! Perhaps your small Bible study group has been looking for a venue to get together beyond the florescent lights of your Sunday School classroom. Or maybe you know a bunch of unrelated ladies who may not know one another yet, but all share a unique interest, such as crafting or baking or reading great fiction. Choose a specific group of gals, find a date, and extend an invitation.

3) The invitation - Card-stock is lovely, but not necessary. I simply found a graphic online and added text. This is what my friends received in an email:

E-vites are always easy (and free), but texting works too. That said, if you've the money, wherewithal, and desire to send hand written notecards, certainly do! Antiquated but such a special treat. Just remember that you don't need to, so don't dare let the unspoken pressure to purchase foil-lined envelopes for your invitations stop you from hosting a sweet gathering! Your open door is the gift, the invite doesn't have to be!

4) Your home - It's a mess most days, and maybe you are too. I get that. And your little people dump things out of boxes faster than you can pick them up. I get that as well. This, my friends, is why doors were created. If you are overwhelmed by the thought of having to clean your entire house in order to be hospitable, might I suggest you only focus on a couple of rooms? All you need for a gathering is a somewhat tidy kitchen, a picked up living space, and a dinning table. Yesterday all of our bedroom doors were securely closed. In hindsight, I probably could have done a better job in the boys' bathroom. But not even then could detour the gift of the gathering.

5) The menu - Don't set yourself up for stress. Your husband will thank me for this point. You don't need stress, and he doesn't need you stressed, and your children don't need you stressed, and your guests won't want you stressed out either. If you enjoy cooking and baking, then do it if you can make it fit within the confines of your busy life! If, however, you do not enjoy said cooking and baking, then don't. Pick up scones and curd, pre-made chicken salad and a bag of pre-washed lettuce, a bag of grapes to garnish, and a box of chocolates for dessert. It can absolutely be this simple. Or, perhaps, you are eager to try some new recipes. If you're feeling like an adventure, I suggest you try making an assortment of scones. Followed by a platter of finger sandwiches, an unusual salad, and finally an assortment of chocolates and desserts. But remember this:

[Tweet "The food is fun, but the fellowship is what truly satisfies when we gather."]

6) The table - Again, this doesn't have to be stressful to be lovely. My secret weapons, my must have ingredients for a lovely table are simply fresh flowers and matching place settings. I have a set of 12 antique crystal tea plates and cups from the sixties that are my favorites. I love them entirely! However, yesterday I had too many guests to use them if I wanted to match - and I did want to match - so I decided to go with my simple white plastic plates that I purchased last Christmas when we were knee deep in a kitchen remodel but hosting the holiday feast just the same. I assumed then that I would throw the plates away, but they were so lovely I washed them off and have used them multiple times since. But the key is that they all match. I had two tables with identical yellow tablecloths and green napkins and glasses at each setting. Still, cloth napkins don't make for better conversation, so don't get all tied up in the linens.

The other piece to this puzzle is how to set a table. Though I already confessed to not living at "The Abbey," I do appreciate the right layout at each setting. Here's a quick explanation:

Napkin and fork on the left,

knife and spoon on the right, knife closest to the plate, facing inward. If using multiple forks or knives, set them in order of use, from the outside moving in toward the plate. Water glass is to the left of all other glasses, tea cups, or mugs. Bread plate is set over the fork.

This is the way my mom taught me when I was a child.

7) The conversation - This one usually takes care of itself! However, I still like to guide a short time for sharing, especially when I women together who share an interest but don't all know what another. Yesterday's gathering was a group of Christian authors. After lunch we moved into the living room, squeezing together on the couch and dragging chairs from around the table, to gather together by the fireplace. Once settled with fresh cups of coffee and tea, an assortment of chocolates on the coffee table before us, I asked them one single rich question: "What is God teaching you in the new year?" Then, one by one, each woman had an opportunity to share their hearts. This was the feast. This was the feast! Though I prepared food for days, this sharing was the nourishing part of our time together.

Here's the gist of it ladies, gathering together is an art form- Throwing a tea party or ladies luncheon, or even a simple dessert party after the children are down for the night, is an art form.

[Tweet "Gathering is an art form."]

Your guests are the paint, forming one vibrant palette, each a different hue! Your home, with all it's imperfections, a simple canvas. You are the brush, and God the painter. The way He moves the pigment upon the canvas never ceases to amaze me when I invite women into my home. He always is making things of beauty when we gather together. Invite Him into your next gathering and watch the art of fellowship come to life on the canvas of your home.

To learn more about enjoying your Life Creative in the midst of motherhood, sign up for updates here at WendySpeake.com and stay tuned for the book, Life Creative: Inspiration for Today's Renaissance Mom, coming fall 2016 through Kregel Publications.

Calling America back...

It's late on The Fourth of July. Watermelon and bbq chicken have all been eaten, swim suits are tying desperately to dry in the humid night air out back on the line. Firecrackers were all ignited under the watchful care of fathers, and moms covered babies' ears and hollered to the bigger kids, "Get back onto the sidewalk!"  

Americana reigns supreme on The Fourth of July.

My husband's on the couch now with our three sons, all of them in their boxer shorts, watching Captain America and enjoying milk and cookies, and everyone here has a sense that the world is right and good and safe. And it is... here in this home tonight.

And then I got a message that a new music video hit the internet tonight.

A video we've been holding our breath waiting for.

And it came out tonight...

on the Fourth of July.

A song about America,

Calling us back to virtues noble and good,

Back to family values strong and pure,

Back to father's teaching children about hard work ethics, true grit, and responsibility.

Calling America back...

I heard the song for the first time a couple of months ago; loved the message and the voice.

My three sons sang it over and over again as my youngest child prepared for his first day of work.

Seven years old but eager to prove himself a hard working man among grown men.

He sang it all the way to work, this song.

"America... America..."

When Asher arrived at the set, he popped out of the car before I could shut the engine down, and ran up to the producer proud to say he was ready to work. And he was. And he did. He worked like a man all day long, filming the video to this very song.

When I asked him if he needed a break, he'd simply say, "I'm an American, Mama, not an Ameri-can't!" Then he'd smile and ask the director to do it again.

And so, without further ado, I give you Asher Beau, and his acting debut in Graham Saber's timely new video, America.

When a woman needs rest

 

Tomorrow I leave for my 5th Annual Creative Retreat. Each year has been a little different, though the quorum of woman have remained the same.  We've retreated to a lake-house in Northern California, a poolside oasis in Southern California, and this year we are gathering sea-side in Clearwater, Florida. But more than a change of locations, each year has held different, transcendent themes.  There was the year when we laughed the most, and the one where we cried, another when we created the most, and that one spectacular year when we ate our way through... This year I believe we will find rest.

Rest.

Oh, I am hopeful that I will have a productive five days at the keyboard, because I'm writing a book and the manuscript is due in September, but even as my fingers fly I hope to know deeply healing heart-rest. Stepping away from the blessed grind of daily life allows my personal rhythm to return to it's resting tempo once again. Though I love my three boys and the man I share them with, there is so much going and serving and running and pouring out and bending over to pick another wet towel off the floor, that sometimes I get tired.

[Tweet "Even the most grateful woman can get tired. But rest promises to build her back up again."]

Photos courtesy Tammy Labuda Photography

Oh my, looking back I see that food has truly been the over-arching theme every year, let's not fool ourselves. But this year I hope to ingest great gobs of healing rest as well.

Here are three types of REST that women need to learn to lean into:

Resting in the loving hands of Christ - When life goes hard and we question if we're doing it all right or failing miserably, women can rest in the assurance that God is sovereign over our days, and the family members who depend upon us. Though I'm not perfect, I am perfectly flawed... My flaws are a gift. They allow me to find eternal rest in His Saving Perfection.  Salvation is always a bed of grace designed for rest, both now and forever more.

I am bringing my Bible with me this week, eager to find my rest in the book of Exodus - The picture of God leading His people out of bondage, in order to bring us all into the rest of His Promise Land.  He offers that to me.  He offers it to you.

[Tweet "I find my soul's true rest in the Bible. It's the original King-sized bed! "]

Literal rest - I am eager to sleep well - long and hard. Without middle of the night growing pains to rub away, or early morning hungry bellies to feed, I will stretch, roll over, and fall asleep again.  Rest is healing for the body, and the spirit.  "Be still and know that I am God..." It's a command that is hard to cultivate in these years with little people and their constant needs.  Retreating allows me the literal rest I need to restore, so that I might return home again eager and able to love fresh.

The rest found in safe friendships - It is safe to be with these women.  They are my tribe, my people, my cheering squad and prayer warriors.  They celebrate my joys and weep with me in my sorrows, and their nearness offers me rest. We laugh over bacon and gorgonzola pancakes, and pray around the fire pit, and walk together in silence, each stopping every few steps for more pictures.  We share what we've written, the pictures we've captured, the dreams we each have, and the hard knocks we've taken since our last time together. The safety net of friendship is a glorious hammock for rest.

[Tweet "The safety net of friendship is a glorious hammock for rest."]

Tonight I am packing up all my pretty vacation clothes, my orange sandals, notecards, and that Bible of mine. As I do I am taking moments here and there to lift up my friends who are joining me, and those of you who are stopping by to read this post - asking the Lord to guide you all with His Spirit, into His refreshing rest today - even if you can't getaway.

In His Word, in your bed, in your dear friendships... seek rest.

Question: What else offers you deep soul-rest? 

When mom has a dream beyond motherhood - this is the blog post where I announce I'm writing a book

 

It all began last summer at our 4th annual Creative Retreat.

Well, my goodness, that doesn't make a lick of sense...  How can something begin four years in? Or fourteen years into a friendship for that matter. I guess to tell the story right I need to go back to the beginning, just after we'd both married and moved to Dallas, Texas.

I met Kelli in a Sunday School class for young couples.  Well, sort of.  It was a big class and our husbands actually met first.  But eventually we met and took to one another like soul-sisters. I still remember our first time visiting their little condo.  She made grilled chicken on their itty-bitty balcony grill and dressed the salad with a white vinaigrette I thought was other-worldly.  Over their tiny 36 inch bistro table our husbands battled for the last piece of garlic bread. And then we watched White Christmas together, all four of us on their two and a half person couch.

Truly, I could go on at this rate, but getting to the big announcement would take forever. So let me cut to the chase:

The long and the short of it was and remains this: Kelli and I are both Creatives. Deep down to the core, before creativity was all the rage, we were simply two women actively pursuing our dreams.  She was a writer who sang on Sundays, and I was an actress who dabbled in words. We'd meet up at the Starbucks in our local Barnes and Noble and share our dreams over tall cups of tea and maple scones.  Nearly a decade and a half later, living on different coasts now, co-hosting an annual creative retreat for writers and photographers, Kelli and I are finally working together on an exciting new project...

A book.

A real book!

A real book written for women...

Written for creative women like us...

Creative women who are wondering if their creativity still has a place during the intense season of motherhood.

Yesterday we signed our first ever book contract with Kregel Publishing. Together, though she penned her signature from Florida, and I swept the letters that formed my name here in California, we made our first literary promise. Then I took my children to the post office to overnight my half of the pledge.

That's when I did something I wasn't at all expecting - I called my boys out of the car and asked them to lay their hands on that Priority Express envelope and pray for their Mama and Ms. Kelli.

Of course they did.  Then we dropped it together into the postbox and drove to the beach with the windows down.

And this all leads me back to the beginning of this post, how it all began last summer at our 4th Annual Creative Retreat. Or really, once the ladies had gone home and Kelli stayed an extra day to brain-storm with me this book idea we'd been kicking around.  But with my children jumping up and down, begging for their mom's attention, I was distracted and kept getting up from our little session scribbling down chapter ideas to pour another glass of lemonade or answer another question.  That's when Kelli said these words to me:

"Wendy, it is good for your children to see you working on something you're passionate about outside of them, and it's okay for you to tell them that they need to give you 30 minutes to finish what you're doing.  Our children must understand that Mom has interests and thoughts and conversations beyond them."

I will not lie... this was a revolutionary concept for me.  And my chidren looked at me sideways when I repeated Kelli's words to them this way:

"All right boys, I'm doing something right now with Ms. Kelli that I am so excited about. I will tell you all about it tonight.  However, right now, I need you to find somewhere else to play so I can finish the really cool thing I'm doing. Okay?"

Not only was it okay, my kids were thrilled to hear about my dream, when I unveiled it to them that night over dinner. Just like they were out-of-their-mind excited to celebrate the sending of that contract!

So this is my big announcement, friends, Kelli Stuart and I are writing a book!  An honest to goodness book with pages, a cover and a binding. We have three months to finish the manuscript and then a whole year until it is released in a store near you. But even bigger than those 50,000 confined to 12 chapters, is the blessing this has been to me and my family.

[Tweet "Children need to learn that their mom is a three-dimensional, loving and serving entity with dreams and passions all her own. "]

I guess it is safe to say that I am the walking-talking poster-child for the book we're writing... ever-so-slowly learning to live this life in the glory-crash of motherhood, creativity and faith. Discovering along that way that when mom has a dream beyond motherhood, everyone in the family plays an important part.

And my children hopped out of the car, laid hands on that contract, and sent it off with their blessings.

Creative Moms, don't miss the release in fall 2016, sign up for email updates here at wendyspeake.com, or over at kellistuart.com, and we promise to joyfully prime the pump in the next 15 long months with posts purposed to bless your creative heart. We are really excited about the community of creative moms that God is going to knit together in the coming days!