Summertime Agenda of Awesome '15

June-Gloom is a real thing, hanging heavy on California's coastline when we're all ready for the sun to burn the marine layer away.  June-Gloom is a real expression, branded here on the West Coast.  But May can be the same way, only she doesn't have a catch phrase in her corner, so my husband is intent on coining this one: May Malaise  

malaise |məˈlāz; -ˈlez| (noun) a general feeling of discomfort, illness, or uneasiness whose exact cause is difficult to identify : a society afflicted by a deep cultural malaise | a general air of malaise.

I like it alright, nice alliteration, but without a viral push and an army of tweets it probably won't stick. However, there is a new summer catch-phrase on the rise, now that kids are getting out of school and moms are desperate to start the holiday off right:

 "Summertime Agenda of Awesome"

Last year, creative mom blogger Kelli Stuart started hash-tagging every picture she uploaded of her blond kids to Instagram:

 #Summertimeagendaofawesome

She made a poster-board listing the fun they'd have, alongside a splattering of rules, such as, "Snacks at 10am and 2pm each day" and "we cannot feed the entire neighborhood at dinner every night." Her summertime agenda of awesome also offered incentives for her children like $1 per book.

And so this year, when I read that she'd made a new sign, I jumped on board!  Literally jumped on a great big piece of cardboard! And now I'm inviting you to do the same and hash-tag your way through the summer with us:

#Summertimeagendaofawesome15

I grabbed the leftover trifold poster-board I'd bought for my fifth-grader's sixth-grader's science project that he didn't use this year, and found the dye-cut letters from my third-grader's fourth-grader's Tsunami Lego project, and started printing up lists and goals and plans and a calendar and a Bible verse. And this is where I confess that our #Summertimeagendaofawesome15 poster-board may be slightly more awesome then Kelli's - not that it's a competition moms - just saying that I snapped a picture, sent it her way, with the caption, "My Summertime Agenda of Awesome poster-board just ate yours!"

"Over-acheiver" she text back with a snarky tone.

"And by the way," I replied, "my kids are making twenty-five cents a chapter over here this summer."

"Good, tell them to get reading. Because your kids are buying the popsicles when you come out to Florida this summer."

Seriously, ladies, we're just having some fun. You can make yourself a poster or not, have a Family Summer Bible Verse or not, read aloud from a heavy book or not, use the months off to work on math sheets or not, see the Grand Canyon or not, raise money for a local ministry or not...

All I'm saying is is this...

Make it an awesome Summer Moms!

Say yes to your kids, say yes to your husband, say yes to more rest and more play and loads of water colors and poolside parties.  Say yes when they ask to face paint, say yes to the mess, say yes to Lemon Bars, say yes to having friends over last minute, and yes to kicking your children outside for long stretches of sweaty play each day.  Say Yes... to an agenda that includes all of this and more.

#Summertimeagendaofawesome15

Who's in?

For those of you who are zooming in to see what specifics I included in our chart:

-The Kids listed the special things they want to do this summer.

-We also listed the big things we're looking forward to, like church camp and our trip to Florida (because we really are going to do that!)

-Our Summertime Verse is Ephesians 4:29.

-I printed up a blank calendar online and filled it in with all of our plans so the kids can see what's coming up next.

-Reading log, where each kid can record the title of the book and how many chapters he read.

-Little Men is the book we're reading together as a family this summer.  It's one of my all time favorite books for boys.

-Missionary Fund - Since life is so super busy during the school year, we focus on raising money for our ministry partners as a family during the summer.  Lemonade stands are a great introduction to this, tithing from their book reading fund, and a few other creative money making ventures will allow us to give together as a family.

-Sleep-In and Win!  This is our first summer trying our hand at a sleeping in competition.  Last year's competition was Wii Just Dance Kids, and my oldest beat me with "Every Body was Kung Fu Fighting." This year, however, the kids get a checkmark each time they sleep until 8am or later!  The boy who slept in the most times will get some AWESOME prize at summer's end.

-Most Cheerful Servant sticker chart is simply my way of encouraging the children to out-serve one another this summer. The day I unveiled the chart two of my kids were extra eager to get in the kitchen and kept asking my TEN favorite words EVER!  "Mom, is there anything else I can do to help?"

-Rules and chores are pasted discretely on the backside of the board so that the front can be all about the fun.  Sure, there are limits to TV and screen time and daily charts to remember that making beds and hanging wet suits are paramount this summer too... but our focus is on the celebration this summer.

Feel free to follow along on Instagram this summer...

#Summertimeagendaofawesome15

When you're desperate for your kids to believe these words - I love you

 

There are moments when all the matter of emotion in my heart gets stirred up like a sand storm over these children and it hurts - literally, physically breaks me. Oh that they know it! That the particles of it are swirling on their skin and get caught up in their nostrils, that they might inhale it deeply. Believing. Yes, I want them to know it deep-down-deep and own it, assured. They are loved.

I whisper it fiercely, sing it sweetly, tickle their backs with the skin-to-skin reminder. "I love you." More than words, "I love you" is real and near and safe, here in their childhood home.

Seven things that communicate this safety net we call Love

1) Good Morning Rubs - Wake your children with a touch and gentle words - I know that mornings can be rush, and grace can be elusive when we're hurrying out the door, but here at the beginning of summer purpose to indulge in slow waking up moments with a song and a rub.  My children especially enjoy a good butt rub as I sing, Rise and shine and give God the glory!

2) Breakfast Prayers - My children don't get rote prayers at the breakfast table around these parts.  Once their food is on the table we bow our heads and give a shout out to the one who gave us each new day, the sun on the rise, the unifying love of brotherhood, the flowers beyond our kitchen window, the zipline in the yard beyond.  Now don't for a second think that my middle kid isn't sneaking sips of milk, or that the youngest isn't kicking the oldest under the table.  I'm just flat out determined to praise God for each new day regardless.  I've decided that harping about their disrespectful attitude during breakfast prayers won't help them grow up to praise God any better.  So a gentle reminder is what I give, then I wrap it up with an Amen let's eat!

3) Ordinary, every day celebrations - Whether it is dinnertime in front of the TV or picnics in the back yard, saying yes to home-front adventures of the simplest variety communicates that family is a celebration.  My mom used to randomly throw us Teddy Bear Parties. We would bring all our stuffed animals to the dinner table - every chair in the house, pulled into the dinning room for our stuffed friends, and always cake for desserts.  Soft, cuddly, tasty, celebratory memories of a mother's love.

4) Relationships with dear friends - Allowing other adults to pour love into the lives of our little ones is paramount.  Having an occasional "girl's night out" is crucial for mom, but don't forget to get families together and OFTEN!  Grow family friendships, break bread, vacation together.  Love one anther's kids like family, bless one another's children, and be there for celebrations and sorrows alike. This past year my kids' school had a grandparents day and none of our grandparents could be there, so one of our best adult friends showed up in the middle of his work day to tour the children's classrooms.  "Uncle Pat," they called our friend, and their hearts swelled.  I have no doubt that in the years to come my boys will turn to Uncle Pat for counsel and encouragement many times.

5) Traditions are the roads that love travels down time and again -  Friday night movie nights, water skiing at the lake every summer, playing chess with dad, date nights with mom... traditions are those things (big and small) that you do over and over again and again.  A pathway in little brains, going deeper and deeper each time the familiar road is trod upon.  The message is spoken over again as batch after batch of brownies come out of kitchen ovens... "You are worth celebrating. I love being with you.  Our family is all about love!"

6) Word's of life - His pupils take over the speckled colors of his eyes.  Dilating in response to words that say I love you.  Every time I lean into the quiet and whisper, "I really like you son.  I like the way you treat your Grandma, the way you help me in the kitchen, the way you serve the little kids at church.  You are such a sweetheart of a boy and I just like being with you so much. You are going to be a wonderful husband one day, such a good daddy.  I love watching you grow up!"

7) Read books that model love - The love in a home between husband and wife, the love between a man and his God, the love between brothers and friends.  Lift up your voice and baptize your children with the pictures of love throughout literature, poetry, and the Bible.

8) Don't beat around the bush, talk about love point blank - Bathe them in conversation about love in all its various forms. And point it out, praise them for loving in the every day moments of living. "I just saw you love your brother!  Good job loving me tonight with your hugs and your words.  You showed love for our neighbors today when you swept their driveway!"

9) Night time Blessings - I thought that tuck-ins were going to be delightful with young children.  They proved harder, not so simple, with one issue or another arising each night.  But I believe in persevering through the melt-downs and demands. I press on, through I'm exhausted, because I want my children to remember their Mama's voice singing blessings over them.  "Praise God from whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures here below, Praise Him above ye heavenly host, Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost." That's a good one there; A doxology to end long days.  Or our family's favorite nighttime tune: "The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make His face shine upon you, and give you peace forever..."

10) Our private prayers - After the children are down for the night, or scattered throughout your days in an unceasing sort of way... pray.  Pray that the Lord's Holy Spirit continues to chase your children down and woo them to faith.  Pray that God's Spirit knits the hearts under your roof together in a supernatural way as you all sleep.  Pray for His unifying love to fill and overflow from every heart in your home.  Ask like a squeaky wheel each night that God would speak truth into the ears of your beloveds: "You are loved and safe here in this family.  You will grow to love and serve Me here.  You will love as you have been loved and care as you have been cared for.  Home is My gift to you.  Home."

Dear Moms and Dads, (and listen up my own heart too) this short season that stretches on in the most weary making way, is designed by Love for love.  God, who is love, planned the family as He did that we might love well and train them up to love their own generation and the next.  Love is not this elusive thing to be private about.  Love is radical and purposeful and a muscular sort of life that saves and serves and celebrates.  Love is our calling.  Love is the Light and the Salt and the heartbeat in every believer's breast.  Love is like an arbor grounding our children.  Love gives them the vision and the strength they will need to one day go out and build similar arbors of safety for those they love well on the other side of childhood.

Loving is an honor, our high calling. I want to grab it purposefully with my own two hands and build it well with my words and my touches and my reading and my singing, my laughter and my tuck-ins and my wake-ups, and my “come to the dinner” hollers into the back yard. All of it communicating this: I love you.

The Calling In What Remains Of Your Life

by John Blase

The eyes of the aspen are watching to see if before you cross over to that next place you’ll take your simple life and grind it up in your imagination so as to build exquisite arbors of memory your children and children’s children can stand beneath and find shade. If you are faithful to this calling then future generations might pause beneath the shelter of your effort, shored up with the knowing that one of their kin dared each day to look unafraid into the very heart of this sorrowed heaven on earth and that even in the vex of grief said thank you, thank you for it all. The eyes of the aspen are watching to see if you’ll spend the remains of your life this way. If so these earthly angels promise gold as you surrender, a quaking whisper of those forgotten words from the old book: well done.

What to do when your child wants to play Tug-of-War? Drop. The. Rope.

 Drop. The. Rope.

Do you feel like you're in a never-ending game of tug-of-war with your kiddos? That one strong-willed boy, or the hormonal two year old with lopsided braids and mismatched socks looking side-ways at you, because you cut her steak the wrong way?

It was an absolute life changer for me when I realized that two people can't play that tug-of-war game if one of them simply let's go of their own taught end and loosens up a bit.

Thud.

The rope falls down. He falls down.  She falls down. The fight falls down. Falls out.

Drop. The. Rope.

Today one of my kiddos was adamant about ________, well... you fill in the blank. Because honestly, it was everything at every turn. And it doesn't really matter what it was, because you know exactly what it's like inside your own four walls. I felt blood boiling under feminine skin and my cheeks were red hot. However, miracle of miracles, I remembered the game of tug-of-war. More specifically, I recalled that it takes two people pulling at one another from two different ends. And, I remembered what happens when one opponent just drops the rope: the game comes to an end.

Thud.

No part of me wanted to fight and so I chose to drop the rope.

So I did something VERY STRANGE instead of fighting him - I talked to myself in the gentlest tones. I let go of the rope and had myself a conversation on the side-lines, as my pent up boy watched on. I talked to myself, and as I talked to me I talked to him, from a healthy inner-dialogue. So often this mother's negative inner-dialogue comes out like arrows, so full of lies and shame. "Why do you always fight me? Why don't you listen to me? You never just say thank you, you always want more..." Inner dialogue flying out of me and straight into his heart.

But today I dropped the rope and picked up truth.

"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." (Philippians 4:8)

I dropped those negative thought patterns, then purposefully chose truth, I picked it up, instead of the rope, and turned it into a string of auditory words: "I love you son. I'm a good mom. I am making good choices for you. God did a good job when he made me your mom, because He knew I would help you grow up to be good and wise and kind. He also wants me to teach you to eat healthy food and wash your hair all the way down to the scalp and start using deodorant every morning, and brush your teeth three times a day. I'm doing a good job of teaching you all those things. I love you, and I don't have any desire to argue with you. God doesn't want me to fight you. But I bet he loves it when we hug. What do you say we turn our game of tug-of-war into a sweet hug-a-war?  You don't want to fight me and I don't want to fight you. Let's hug it out instead."

Thud.

And just like that the tug-of-war became a hug-a-war.

Three practical things to help you drop the rope when your kids want to battle it out!

1) Ding Ding Ding - send everyone to their corners - or their rooms as the case may be.  "We don't fight with one another in our house.  You go calm down in your room and I'll spend some time calming down in mine."

2) Remember what is true - You love this kid and he or she absolutely adores you!  That's one thing we need to remember.  But also remember that God gave us a pattern for parenting willfully disobedient children - Let's remember how He deals with us; gently, patiently, with gracious long-suffering.

3) Speak life rather than death -  Tell your child what you remembered is true - as you sat their in your time-out corner.  Then plant these life giving seeds into their fertile young hearts.  "I love you and you love me and we can talk about this.  But in the end, if you like what I say is going to happen or not, you are going to have to do what I choose, because you are the sweet child and I am the loving mom."

Drop the rope and pick up grace...

The imagery of the Tug of War rope in parenting is vivid, and an amazing thing happens when we drop our side of the rope.

Thud.

Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. (Psalm 34:14)

Thud.

Sunday can be a hard day for Christians... moms especially - so armor up

It's Saturday night.  11:48 pm. I'd like to be sleeping right now between cool clean sheets. No, more than that, my body needs me to be sleeping. However, sometimes moms simply aren't able to get what they need. The rest, exercise, peaceful chunks of quiet to revive again to do it gracefully another day. And yet we must. We must show up with grace if we get the sleep we need or not.

I'm assuming you'll see this note tomorrow, Sunday, either amidst the mad dash to church in the morning or after you are home and lunch has been served up. You may be tired, as I will likely be, after staying up too late working through some home projects that my husband needed my help on. I'm hoping that here in a few minutes he'll holler, "Okay, I don't need you to help anymore, let's head to bed." And then maybe my youngest won't wake me with growing pains at 2am, and the middle child won't have a nightmare like he did last night.  I'm praying right now for a few deep sleeping, undisturbed hours.

However, exhausted or not, you and I have the high privilege of ministering to our specific families with love beyond our love, joy beyond our joy, peace beyond our human peace, patience beyond our patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control beyond that which we can muster on our own. To top it off we are desperate for His strength, because we are bone weary from muscling through it on our own.

What to do this weary Sunday?

One word. One crucial word that covers your every need and mine.

Abide.

"Abide in me and I will abide in you and you will bear much fruit." John 15:4

However.

Sunday is a holy day and it belongs to the Lord. But don't think for a moment that it is a safe day.  Holy is rarely safe.  In fact, Sunday is the day that our enemy slanders Gods people most - whispering the lies we believe about ourselves. That we are failing, that we aren't good enough, spiritual enough, loving enough. He wants to take you out - you and your whole precious believing family!

Want to fight back today? Here on this Sabbath day? Abide! Armor up with your belt of truth and your breastplate of righteousness and your sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, and the readiness that comes from the Gospel of peace, and put your helmet of salvation firmly upon your head, that your mind is protected too. Then choose to pick up faith and believe. Believe and abide and abide and believe, and maybe get a nap in there too before it's time to prep for dinner.

But whatever you do... do not believe the lies of the evil one. You are loving and good!  You are loving and good because Christ Himself made you so on the cross of Calvary!

It is finished! That is the hope of Sunday rest. It is finished, both creation and recreation.  Put that in your helmet of Salvation and let the truth of it spill over your head and get you drenched through with peace today as you armor up.

Abide in that, let it wash over your thinking and refresh your weary state today. Abide in that and bear fruit in your home today.

Amen? Amen.

Dear Lord, we ask you to fill us with all the fruit of your Holy Spirit in our lives as we make the space to abide in You today.  Believing, AMEN!

Fasting Like a Child - a guest post

Our guest today is very special to me.  In fact, Christy Nueman has taught me more about Praying and Fasting, and therefore seeing God in the everyday moments of a simple life, than anyone else.  More than any book, any blog post, any other friend. And so, I find today's story especially sweet because, in a way, I had the same experience her son had... I saw the way his mother would fast and pray, and the joy she received coming to the Lord this way, and I wanted to emulate her as well.  

---

Fasting Like a Child, by Christy Nueman

My 6-year old son matter-of-factly announced, "I'm going to pray and fast. No bananas for 4-days."

I stopped talking mid-sentence. Silence settled. I shot a sideways glance across the dinner table. My husband stiffened like a bronze statue. He stared at the ceiling. His forehead crinkled and eyebrows furrowed.

I sipped some water to stall. My head felt like a 15 pound bowling ball resting on my clinched fist. Questions flooded my mind. Can a child fast? Does he know what fasting means? What will he do without his favorite snack for 4-days?

My son swallowed his last bite of buttered pasta. “Mom, I’m all done. Can I have dessert now?”

He started fidgeting in the chair. I stammered, “Sure, sweetheart. We’ll have dessert soon. But are you sure you want to fast? You know that means no bananas for 4-days.”

He confidently answered, "Yeah. I want to fast because I want to get this close to God." He pushed his pudgy palms firmly together to emphasize, “this close”. Somehow with those four words—THIS CLOSE TO GOD—our simple supper became sacred.

I locked eyes with my son. His hazel eyes beamed. Mine brimmed with tears.

“When do you want to start?” I asked.

“Tomorrow” he answered.

And he didn’t eat a single banana for the next 4-days.

Almost immediately, we saw the Lord begin to move in unusual ways during and after our little one's fast.  Funny to me, he gave up fruit and suddenly we saw spiritual fruit in his life.  However, this ripe “fruit” initially looked blemished and bruised.

Let me explain. About a week after his 4-day “no bananas” fast, my son got sick. We had just moved cross-country and my husband was on an extended business trip. I sent a desperate SOS text to a brand-new friend in my neighborhood. And before I knew it, she dropped off a bunch of bananas, a coloring book and medicine at my doorstep. I had only asked for prayer. And like a flash flood this storm-of-sickness passed.

A couple days later my son scribbled a single sentence. He read it out loud, “I can see Jesus.”

I scooted next to him and said, “You know. That’s like the verse from Matthew 5:8. Blessed are the pure in heart for they will see God.”

Then a thought illuminated my mind like a bolt of lightning. It was an image of Jesus calming my son’s storm-of-sickness—just like He calmed the furious squall on the Sea of Galilee for His fearful disciples.

My heart instantly warmed. Praise pulsed from my head to my toes. I exhaled deeply and blurted out, “Hey! Do you remember right after you fasted bananas for 4-days you got really sick? And I sent that prayer request to my friend and she brought you that big bunch of bananas. We didn’t even ask for bananas.”

His eyes widened. A gradual grin formed and he said, “Yeah, yeah! I remember. That’s a miracle!” I nodded whole-heartedly.

Yes, I do believe God performs miracles every day—miracles ordinary and extraordinary. Sometimes I think the greatest miracle is awareness of the nearness of our “Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace” (Isaiah 9:6).

Dear Friends, are you in need of a miracle?  Are you needing to sense the nearness of God in your life? Fasting improves our spiritual senses. Just like looking through a magnifying glass helps us see an object in greater detail—fasting magnifies God. We begin to see God everywhere—His presence, power, peace, provision, and protection our lives. Jesus was called Immanuel which translated means “God with us” (Matthew 1:23). And He promises us, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" (Matthew 28:20).

Do you want to see a miracle? Have you considered joining this fast?

Today marks day 24 of this “no sugar” fast. which means that if you start today, you have a glorious (albeit challenging) 16 days ahead of you!  It’s not too late for you to join.

Maybe you’ve heard about this fast from family and friends, but you’ve thought, “This isn’t the best time for me. I’ve never fasted before. And I can’t possibly fast from sugar that long.” But you just can’t silence that persistent urging to give it a try. Join us!

Or perhaps you began this fast leading the pack, but you stopped because of stress or sickness. And now you feel disqualified. Let me assure you there is nothing that can make you ineligible to fast. Join us!

But if you’re still not convinced that fasting is for you, can I tell you a funny fasting faux pas?

When I casually mentioned this 40-day fast to my husband, he looked hesitant. But without wavering, my son said, “Yeah, Daddy! Let’s all fast together!” He couldn’t resist my son’s infectious enthusiasm. So fasting became a family affair.

However on the first day of the 40-day fast my Kindergartener bashfully admitted he ate a cupcake at school. So we made this age-appropriate exception: our son’s fast started when he got home every day.

And this is good news for two reasons: God’s grace never changes and there’s not just one-way to fast. Keep in mind that Biblical fasting is going without food, but other examples of fasting are abstaining from things like: sugar, caffeine, alcohol, TV, social media, sleep and even sex for a period of time.

After his cupcake confession, my son looked deeply into my eyes and said, “Well, I think it’s going to take two or three fasts for me to get really close to God.”

I paused and prayed for wise words. “You know. God loves you so much. And He is always with you. But in this life, we’ll always desire to feel closer to God—no matter how many times we pray and fast. Our earthly eyes can only see God like a dim reflection in a mirror, but in heaven we’ll have new eyes that can see Him.”

My son’s eyes brightened and he said, “I can’t wait to see Jesus!” And in the very next breath he said, “Mom, will you make me snickerdoodle cookies when this fast is over?”

I tickled his tummy. Tiny giggles erupted.

“Of course, I will!” I answered. And I sealed the deal by kissing his round cheek.

Prayer:

Lord, I want to see miracles. Help me to walk by faith not by sight. I desire supernatural eyesight to see You working all things together for good in my current life storm. Teach me lasting lessons from this simple story about fasting like a child. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Scriptures:

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child…For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.” 1 Corinthians 13:11, 12 (NKJV)

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, ‘Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.’” Matthew 18:1-5 (NIV)

---

Don't you agree?  Isn't Christy just the most darling example to follow as we tentatively learn to draw near to God in this new way?  Of course, she'd blush in my literal Living Room if we were all sitting around together today.  But here in this virtual space... I can gush as much as I please!

Christy Nueman lives a simple life deep-in-the-heart of Texas with her college sweetheart and son. She’s passionate about marriage, motherhood and ministry. She’s co-founder of A.B.I.D.E. Adoption and Infertility Ministry and on the Board of Directors for Sarah's Laughter. She warmly welcomes guest bloggers from all seasons of life to share their stories on her blog called The Write Season.