When an angry woman meets a kind God

I've been overwhelmed these past 30 days by all of the passionate Jesus-following women who have joined me in this 40 Day Sugar-Fast.  Katie Reid is just one of the gals who has kept me accountable by sharing with me how The Lord is teaching her as she cuts out sweets, that she might fully grab hold the sweetness of life in Christ!

Many of our conversations, this past sugar-free month, have surprisingly had more to do with other addictions than sugar. Together we've realized that God has gently grieved both our hearts over similar things - unhealthy relationships with social media and perfectionism.

Katie recently confessed to me how The Lord has helped her to understand that perfectionism can lead to anger.  And so today, Katie graciously accepted my invitation to join me on the orange couch, and share with us all what the Lord is speaking to her regarding a woman's anger and God's Kindness.

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The Sink

In the last few weeks 2 drinking glasses, 1 salad plate and two bowls have either been cracked or broken, unintentionally. The kids have been a little rough and careless with their chores.

I love my colorful Fiesta dishes and it makes me angry when they get broken, even when it’s an accident.

However, if I'm honest, on a handful of occasions I’ve been intentionally rough with these dishes—slamming them down hard in the sink—because of circumstances or people that I could not control.

I have broken things in my anger—and not just dishes. I have cut hearts and dashed spirits with my careless words and sharp responses. My anger has caused me to sink down in a jagged display of broken pieces.

I sink down low

Maybe you don’t lash out in your anger, maybe it festers down deep, like hot lava bubbling within as the pressure builds? You may not erupt outwardly but the sulfuric steam coats your mind in stinky thick resentment.

Your fury burns low but lethal. You withhold, you shut down, you put up the “I’m fine” sign around the edges of your heart—but you might implode at any given moment. You're dangerous. But you temper your fury by trying to hold it together. Unfortunately, just as the anger sinks in, sin seeps out. It’s only a matter of time until you lose it all in an explosion of emotion.

What sinks in eventually shoots out

“Anger. I had buried it in order to cope and move on. But deep in the heart soil it had sent out roots of something a little too close to hatred”(Dragons and Dirt, by Dalene Reyburn, pg. 70).

Sinking deep in the heart soil

Remember Cain; he was a tiller of the ground. His job was to cultivate things that grow (much like the job description of moms). Just like us he had to contend with heart soil too.  Do you recall how he offered a gift to God, the fruit of the ground, but it was not regarded by the LORD like his brother’s fatty offering was? And Cain became angry.

“Then the LORD said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it. And Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him” (Genesis 4:6-8).

Maybe he felt overlooked, misunderstood or unappreciated? So he retaliated. Cain’s anger did more than sink down deep, it did more than break things...it killed.

Are your angry looks, poisonous words and quick temper killing the spirit of those around you?

Let that sink in

As I find myself slamming into this issue, more times than I’d care to admit, and encountering the sharp stench of my sin, I realize that it really comes down to the heart, doesn’t it?

I can try to modify my outward behavior but I need the Master Gardner to come and cultivate the fertile soil of my soul, where the seeds of bitterness sink in and sprout roots.

What can we do within the weight and pull of sinful roots that have gone too long and wrap us up in bondage? Oh, dear sister, let us remember the heaviness, the weight of bondage and bitter pain that took place when our short-tempered sin—past, present and future—was laid upon Jesus.

He took on all our sin, all the dirt, so that we could live forgiven and free. He absorbed the wrath of God’s righteous holy anger so that we didn’t have to. The cost for our sin was death and He came and stood in our place (see Romans 6:23).

Back to the sink we go

This time I'm not standing at the kitchen basin with anger coursing through my veins. I'm not throwing anything now but my sin down, my angry woman down at the foot of the cross.  I'm here at this metaphorical sink full of hot soapy water, ready to roll up my sleeves and let His kind and shame-free cleansing leave me white as snow.

Yes, because of His Kindness, this cleansing and changing is possible. Because He was an acceptable sacrifice offered on behalf of this tightly wound woman, I can be wiped clean. And if I can be cleaned up here at the sink of His kind sacrifice then any woman can.

“His kindness is intended to lead (us) to repentance.” (Romans 2:4b)

Tears of gratitude that can fill a sink

When we repent, He relents. Like He did with the people of Nineveh. When they were faced with their pending destruction, they called a fast (Jonah 3:5) and called on God earnestly, turning from their wicked ways and the violence which was in their hands. God withdrew His burning anger so they would not perish (Jonah 3:9-10).

This is good news! Jonah 4:2b says, “...You are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger, and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.”

There is hope—beyond our hangups, hurts and hatred. Hope beyond our broken dishes and broken hearts. We find salvation, restoration and healing as we reflect on what Jesus has done on our behalf.

Let's sink down to our knees and pray:

Dear Jesus, Thank You for what You did for us on the Cross. Thank You for Your salvation, forgiveness and deliverance. We need You desperately. We have tried to justify and pretty up our sin, please forgive us. Would you remove the root of sin and teach us how to live differently? We cannot do this on our strength and know-how. Please show us a more excellent way—the way of Love—Your way. Thank You for loving us no matter what and for dying and rising again so that we can truly live; whole and free. Amen.

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Katie M. Reid is the Tightly Wound Woman, a recovering perfectionist who fumbles to receive and extend grace in everyday moments. She delights in her hubby and four children and their life in ministry. Studying God’s Word, singing/songwriting, speaking, writing, photography and cut-to-the-chase conversations are a few of her favorite things.

Katie would love to connect with you on her blog, Facebook and Twitter.

Strongholds or Strong Arms? Because you have a choice

Beneath the sprawling oak tree in the middle of the park, sat a woman on a bench, Her children played on swings nearby.  Pumping legs and happy laughter pulled her gaze, unsmiling.  She longed to laugh but felt hollow and worn, "God, why am I so defeated?" She stood there shaking from the flow of angry words that had poured out over her lips like a tidal wave. Whimpering she prayed, "Lord, why am I so angry?"

Driving home from having dropped them all at school, a mother climbs again under the covers of her bed and closes her eyes.  A tear rolls down her check , making a gentle thud upon her pillow.  "This isn't how it's supposed to be," the words come out like a cry.

Weariness and hopelessness hang heavy on the skin and deep within the soul of women today.  Moms who long to laugh, grandmas who can't shake their sadness, wives who miss the way they used to love. Many learn to self-medicate  - turning to sugar, to spending, to other relationships, to social media.  The lifting lasts for a while, but it never long enough, and on the other side of the momentary happiness is a deeper measure of grief.  Up and down a woman sails, just like children on swings.

That crazy cycle of up-and-down-and-up-and-down, was the impetus for our  40 day sugar fast. Now here we are, a couple of weeks in, and I have to say that my emotions are leveling out.  I am not only tasting flavors more clearly, I am tasting God's Godness in the midst of real life more clearing, and I am finding Him to be good.  Though my imperfections still rear their ugly heads, I have the wherewithal to renounce them quickly and choose instead to press into the power of God.  That's what this journey has been for me.  Pressing in and pressing on.

At the park, and in our home, and in my car... pressing into Him, like a refuge, like a stronghold.

God has been using my own discoveries to teach me faithfully from within, however, he is usig you all to teach me from without.  Hearing your testimonies, confessions, and praises are pushing me forward as I press on.

This comment, especially, has shaped the way I am thinking and praying through our fast.

"...with sugar, I feel happy - but without sugar, I feel free. I so often want happiness, and not freedom."

(Jaimie Bowman, author of Breathe: 31 Moments with Moms)

The other night my husband mentioned some family friends of ours who are struggling.  He sighed and said, "They aren't living victorious lives."  I'd never heard him use those words before, it's not part of our normal vocabulary, and I don't know if I've ever thought the words about my own self - this idea of living victoriously.

Over the next couple of days I continued to think on the phrase, like a picture, imagining what it would even look like and why we can live that way at all.  As I mulled it over this old hymn provided the soundtrack:

O victory in Jesus My Savior, forever He sought me and bought me With His redeeming blood He loved me ere I knew Him And all my love is due Him He plunged me to victory Beneath the cleansing flood

I heard about His healing Of His cleansing pow'r revealing How He made the lame to walk again And caused the blind to see And then I cried, "Dear Jesus Come and heal my broken spirit," And somehow Jesus came and brought To me the victory

(Victory in Jesus, by Eugene Monroe Bartlett Sr.)

Wherever you are today, remember that there is Victory for those who are in Christ - victory both now and eternally.  "It is for freedom that He came to make us free."  He doesn't want us to bind ourselves again, to false gods that promise to make us feel better in the battle.  He is the Victor and the strongtower always standing at the ready.  Press into Him in your weakness and press on!

"Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."                     (1 Corinthians 15:57)

So why do we end up in the muck and the mire of sin and sadness again and again if our freedom has already been won?  Goodness, couldn't we spend a life time figuring that one out. But I think it comes down to this: Our Freedom has already been won, but it takes daily surrender to live like it's true!

Moment by moment, and challenge by challenge, temptation after temptation, hormonal shift after hormonal shift, living what we say we believe. And we believe in Victory through Christ

Let's claim what we proclaim.

Let's live what we profess.

Let's live victoriously.

If we truly believe that the all-powerful, radically loving King of Heaven and Earth chased us down in our sin and sadness to save and redeem us, and offers His power today to remake us... how would we live?  Defeated?  In bondage? Would we stay submissive to the strongholds that bind us today, bow down to false idols that entice?  Believe the lies?  Hold grudges of unforgiveness and let bitterness spring up from that gnarled root?

Oh the grace that should flow from lives that know Victory through Christ. Oh, how joy should mingle there. If God is who we say He is, and loves us with love everlasting, then the life we live should be one of victory and freedom!

"...with sugar, I feel happy - but without sugar, I feel free. I so often want happiness, and not freedom."

Caste off the ties that bind you today, my friends.  Whatever those ties may be, pull them out and cast them aside. Sugar is temporary fix - retail therapy is too - making us feel happy for a time.  But they are strongholds, holding us back from the true strength that allows us to live Victoriuosly in step with Christ.

Today my question is simple:

Do you want a stronghold, or the One who can hold you strong?

Yesterday's verse was "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him." (Psalm 34:8) How perfectly it transitions into the strong embrace offered today.

This I declare about the LORD:

He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;

he is my God, and I trust him. (Psalm 91:2) 

Held strong in the refuge that is God, when depression presses is.

Held strong in the knowledge of His nearness, when loneliness threatens.

Held strong in the safe embrace of His arms, when the enemy advances.  Bringing safety during a divorce hearing, a child's illness, a bout of anxiety over finances.

Held strong by Him.

Do not let yourself be consumed by strongholds today, but press into the loving embrace of a strong and saving God.

Press in and press on.

If sugar is not "your bag" - that thing that holds you captive - ask the Lord what is, and join us for these 40 days of bondage breaking resolve.

"For the Lord your God is he who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies, to give you the victory.’" (Deuteronomy 20:4)

Victory in Jesus,

My Savior forever...

Victory

Renouncing lies - Believing truth

She grabbed hold of my wrist, tight like a shackle, and leaned in close.  I could smell the morning's coffee on her breath and saw the weariness in her eyes at the start of a new day.  "I can't do this anymore..." She whispered it frantically again, "I can't do this anymore... I hate this and I can't do this anymore.  I hate myself and I hate my kids and I hate my life.  And I can't do this." Our children were playing together at the park and we'd just put our things down.  All I had asked was a simple, "How you doing?" and out it flowed, from the heart of a pent-up woman standing too terribly close to the brink.  And the most frightening part of all was that she could have been you, she could have been me.  A simple, well-intentioned, loving mom and wife who was taking the fiery arrows of the devils lies right in the heart.  She clutched me like I could save, because she knew she was going down.

 

Jesus rebuked him, and the demon came out of him, and the boy was cured at once. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not drive it out?” And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you. [“But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”] (Matthew 17:18-21)

Can a woman, in-dwelt by the Holy Spirit of God, be possessed by Satan and his demons? No, I don't believe she can. But she can be oppressed. So thoroughly oppressed she feels possessed. Still, unable to claw his way into our souls, somehow his ugly whispers can seep into our thought-life like sulfuric poison. Slipping in stealthily, lies make their beds in our minds.

I know this full well, because, like this sweet friend of mine, I'd found myself speaking similar lies as though they belonged to me.   "I am not good enough; I do not love enough; if I were more spiritual... then it would be different, I'd have the fruit of God's Spirit baring fruit instead of this rancid stuff."

Alone in my room I'd cry out night after night, "That's not the truth, Satan you're not welcome here!  I love my family, I can do this, I love my kids, I love myself.  I am fearfully and wonderfully made! They are fearfully and wonderfully made! I can do all things through Christ who give me His strength.  He is stronger than you are and He's going to win in the end.  So get out of here, you bastard!  Christ is my peace, in His presence there is fulness of joy, I choose to consider this all joy, knowing that the testing of my faith produced endurance, that I might be perfect and complete lacking in nothing when this is over..."  Out they came, scripture-truth hidden for years, combating the enemy's fiery darts.

But still, the war raged on.  Day after day, negative thoughts about myself, my kids, and my marriage would slip from my lips in the quiet chamber of my room as everyone napped and I folded clothes.  And then I'd sob, "I keep praying, I keep believing, why is he not fleeing from me?"

One night these words came quick like an answer: "...this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting."

The very next day I reached out to a Godly woman and asked her to pray over me, to pray over my entire home.  I didn't tell her much, just asked her to pray.  Of course she came fasting.

* Let me preface this by saying that I wasn't raised in a Holy Spirit, standing-up-raising-hands-anointing-each-other-in-oil-and-speaking-in-tongues home, but this friend of mine did all the above. Then she asked me, as my eyes remained closed, to tell her what I was seeing."

And I was seeing.

I saw Jesus, clear as day, on His knees with His fingers in rich soft soil. And I knew in an instant that the soil was my heart. There were weeds all around and he was gently combing through the supple dirt and lifting each gnarly root out. When he got to one particularly terrible weed I gasped, because there seemed to be no end to the root system. I started weeping uncontrollably, shaking and crying as she gently stroked my back, all the while jesus was pulling gently and the serpent-like body of the root kept coming up and up without end. Finally I cried out loud, "There is no end to my pain, there is no end... I cannot do this... I hate this... I hate this... I hate this... It will never get better."

Crying even now at the memory - ashamed to confess the home those lies had made for themselves in my soul. But the story goes on... because Jesus kept pulling and eventually the claw-like torn from the earth and cast aside.

There I was, torn apart and empty in the end. But this dear woman didn't let me rest, immediately she asked what I needed to replace the lies with. I started weakly mumbling truth, "I love my children, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, God knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give our family hope and a future. I love my children." My voice grew stronger. "I love my children and I love my husband. And I trust You Lord! You did a good job when you wove me together in my mother's womb!" And stronger still. "I trust You!"

Only a time or two in these past years have I been tempted to let those lies slip back in. But I know whose voice it is now. They are not my thoughts. And so today, let me encourage you to remember what is true. You do not hate your children. You do not hate your life. You are not less than the women to your right or to your left.  You are incredible, as a matter of fact! And your husband does love you. And Christ will redeem your brokenness, because that is what He came to do - repair and redeem and restore.

So much wonderful truth to implant in the bare and fertile soil of our hearts, especially if you are fasting through this series with us.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1) "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:32) "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (John 8:36) "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." (2 Corinthians 3:17) "He has not given you a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and a sound mind through Jesus Christ our Lord." (2 Timothy 1:7)

What lies do you need for Jesus, the very gardener of our souls, to pull out by the root? And what seeds of truth should you implant in their stead, so that you are never again enslaved by shame?

Let my heart be sound in your statutes; that I be not ashamed. (Psalm 119:80)  I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. (Psalm 119:11)

Jesus is alive and He came to set us free! Dive into His Word today as you fast and pray, renouncing lies, believing truth!

Pray with me: Dear Lord, we believe, eradicate the weed of our unbelief that we might live the abundant life you came to bring. Amen.

(Link over here for 40 Scriptures for a 40 Day Fast.  If you want to receive this post and others directly in your inbox, please sign up to receive email notifications.)

Let your light shine - a 40 day sugar fast to help lift the clouds

Whether you're a single mom, married mom, remarried mom,

stay-at-home mom, working mom,

grand mom, step-mom...

or a complicated mix of the above,

there's one simple call on every mother's life:

Let your light shine!

Jesus spoke these words about Himself, "I am the Light of the World," then He passed the torch to us, His followers, in Matthew 5:14 - "You are the light of the world!" Yet, somehow, over the course of our long mothering days, our lights can flicker dim, until they all but die. There are too many reasons to count, I'm sure, darkening our lives and snuffing out our testimonies of light: the worries of this world, the challenges of marriage and child rearing, financial stress, broken hearts, broken dreams, dashed expectations, a lack of healthy lifestyles in the busyness of life, even depression brought on by a chemical imbalance, to name of a few.  All of these things, and so many more, can work like a bushel (from the old Sunday School song) hiding our little lights.

While I'm not going to address all of the factors that blow strong against our call to shine, I am inviting you to join me for a 40 day fast from refined sugars!  It is my belief that much of our mothering stress comes back to our inability to control our emotions. We give in to the stress and then parent with stress, adding stress up upon stress to everyone in our house.

Often we deal with the anxiety by running to the half-empty bag of chocolate chips in the pantry, rather than running to God in His Word.

So you see, this fast is both Spiritual and physical, as we commit to denying ourselves sugar, that we might taste the sweetness of Christ - and then share Him with those we care for most - shining His sweet love right where we are, in our home lives.

Moms struggle with sugar addition as much as our sweet-toothed kiddos. Just like them, we experience sugar spiked highs and sugar crashing lows. Though we desire to practice the fruit of self-control and hold every thought captive, to put on compassion and gentleness, be slow to speak and quick to listen...  sugar makes it hard on us.

Simply put, SUGAR DOESN'T MAKE US SWEET!

40 DAY SUGAR FAST! January 16th - February 24th

Sign up here

By signing up you'll receive an invitation to join our private Facebook group and receive weekly emails to encourage you along the way. Since I won't be providing a hard core dietary plan to follow, simply some suggestions, you may want to order a book online.  You can find a more rigorous guideline in the pages of The Daniel Plan: Forty Days to a Healthier Life by Pastor Rick Warren, or the secular, practical cookbook, The Whole 30, a 30 day guide to total health and food freedom.

If you'd like a great companion book to talk you through your relationship with food, in light of who Jesus is in our lives, I heartily endorse FULL: Food, Jesus, and the Battle for Satisfaction by Asheritah Ciuciu. As a special treat, Asheritah will actually be leading us through each chapter in our interactive Facebook group this year! So make sure you sign up here!

Ladies, you are going to love our community each day, as we support and hold one another accountable as experience the bondage breaking power of Jesus! Setting us free from the strong-hold of addiction, sugar induced meltdowns, depression, crabby attitudes, adrenal fatigue, and angry parenting.

The ultimate goal is freedom and emotional stability so that you might let your light shine, from your healthy stable heart, out into your home.  That's my own personal and ongoing focus, and the theme of my encouragement to you.

JOIN US FOR THE 40 DAY SUGAR FAST!

Sign up today!

I am not a nutritionist, nor do I play one on television, I'm simply a woman who has known the dark side of sugar-addiction while trying to love my family and community well.  I believe that men and women who are committed to letting their lights shine for Christ, are constantly under attack, and sugar has become a common weapon forged against loving homes; a chain, holding us back from abundant and happy lives with our dear ones.

Don't you see the way your children bounce wildly and then crash when they've ingested too much sugar?  Well, moms and dads, men and women, are losing control of themselves too, forsaking self-control, losing their tempers, hurting their relationships, shunning the light.

Below you'll find links to related posts that friends and I have written during our last two 40 Day Sugar Fasts.  Join a great congregation of moms who are committed to taking our cravings to the One who made us to crave... Him.

1 - Sugar-fast - Because it's time to get a handle on our emotions, our days, and the negative self-talk

2 - Renouncing Lies - Believing Truth

3 - 40 Scriptures for a 40 DayFast

4 - Made to Crave

5- Return to Me

6- Streams in the Desert

7- Taste and See

8- Strongholds or Strong Arms

9- When not to fast - a guest post on eating disorders by Kelli Stuart

10- Social Media Fasting - Because we want to care what God "likes" more than man

11- Learning to fast - a guest post by Asheritah at OneThingAlone.com

12- Muslims and Christians both fast and pray - Do you know what you believe?

13- I Want God - Is there anything else I should be fasting from?

14- Falling off the wagon - Falling into Grace

15- That time I ate ice-cream and then remembered I was fasting - a guest post by Julie at Happystronghome

16- Just a Closer Walk with Thee

17- Flash the Donkey - because sometimes a donkey has something to say about fasting too.

18- Fasting Like a Child - a guest post by Christy at The Write Season

19- Praying for America - learning to pray for others

20- Do you think of prayer as a sort of magic trick? There's a magic deeper still...

21- What fasting taught me about an angry woman and a kind God - a guest post by Katie Reid at Echos of my Heart

22- When God takes a straight-blade straight to a woman's heart

23- Chocolate Avocado Pudding - a sweet recipe

24- Self Control - this fast has taken lots of it - and so will the next challenge

25- Fasting Dr. Pepper - a guest post by Laura Mitchell at Hope Anchors

Don't miss this ongoing series. Sign up here to have future posts delivered via email straight to your inbox.

My Personal Plan

1) Pray. While this is a physical fast it is also a spiritual one.  Our goal is to break the ties that so easily bind us, holding us back from the fruit of God's Spirit displayed in our lives.

2) Scripture.  Choose a scripture or two or forty, to meditate on when as your body craves sugar and you feel like giving up.  (One of the blog posts in this series will have some suggestion). You are purposefully taking something out of your body (through fasting), therefore, this is the perfect time to replant something new (choose God's Word for strength and support.)

3) Dump the sugar.  If it's not in your pantry you will not be tempted at home.  That means the chocolate chips you have stashed away, the candied nuts, left-over Easter treats, those packages of brownie mix, the half eaten tub of ice cream, and your heavily sweetened coffee creamers. (ouch) Don't count the monetary cost.  $60 worth of pantry items is less than the price-tag of having a professional come in and trash it for you.

4) Restock your kitchen.  Just like you are fasting from sugar in your body and replacing those empty places with the truth of God's power to get you through, restock the shelves of your pantry and fridge with protein, vegetables and low sugar fruit items (grapefruit, berries, granny smith apples are your best options).  Avoid simple carbs like white bread, pasta, and white rice, as they turn to sugars in your gut.  Natural sweeteners such as maple syrup and local raw honey are good alternatives to sugar when used sparingly.

5) Plan your meals.  I find that when I eat the exact same things each day, I am less likely to follow temptation down a side-street.  Every morning I have a protein rich smoothie, for snacks I have a piece of fruit, raw carrots or a handful of almonds, lunch is either eggs and canadian bacon, a salad with light dressing, or sandwich meat wrapped around a cheese stick.  If you want to simply have regular meal, go for it, just don't load your salad with high calorie dressing and slurp down a lemonade.  Make a plan ahead of time and stick to it for forty days!

6) Invite others.  Include your spouse, your children, and your friends.  Let's be a community that says goodbye to testimony trashing sugars!

7) Expect Spiritual Attack. Though this is a physical fast, we have spiritual reasons for doing it.  The devil loves nothing more than hearing you raise your voice at your kids.  He delights in your emotional meltdowns at bedtime instead of seeing you make love to your husband.  He wants you staying inside in the dark of your home, lethargic and depressed, rather than enjoy an energized day with your family and neighbors.

8) Stock up on vitamins and minerals.  If your adrenal glands have been burned out by sugar, caffeine, and stress, then look for an adrenal support capsule at your local health food store. Vitamin B is also good for stress, that that's what chases you to your daily spoonful of Nutella.

9) Exercise.  Once you make it through the first 5 days your energy is going to skyrocket.  Layer in some exercise and those healthy endorphins will be an added bonus.  Get ready to find yourself smiling more often!  Your family will notice it too!

10) Pray.  Let's bookend this list with prayer.  "Dear Lord, we want to let Your lights shine into our homes and out into the world, but our moods have been all over the place lately.  Give us the courage to do this fast, that we might learn to depend on You and not sugar crutches and short term fixes.  You came that we might have life, and abundant life at that, we believe that this fast will help us to experience the life You came to give us.  Speak truth into the empty places of our hearts as we fast and pray.  We do this so that our lights will shine strong and sure, that others may see the light and glorify You! Amen."

Let me know in the comments if you'll be joining me in the forty days ahead.

Angry Mom: From Tears to Transformation

We've talked a lot about anger this week.  Anger toward our children.  Anger in our hearts.  Prayer requests from women overwhelm me on weeks like this.  And the ones that break me to the core are the notes from moms who can't get a handle on their emotions and their tongues.  Women like you and me who love deeply, but get all out of sorts amidst the unending stream of training.  This post is for them.

Dear Angry Mom,

I just read your letter.  Had it been hand-written the ink would have been smudged by your tears.  I imagine you there, moaning over the keypad, feeling ashamed... but mostly you feel angry.  You're angry with your children and angry with yourself, and angry with your children for making you so blasted angry at yourself, which makes you only angrier... and sadder, always sadder.

I link over sometimes to your Facebook page, and see the smiling faces of your children, and I lay hands on my computer monitor.  Praying.  Praying for your heart, praying for their hearts, praying for the hearts here in my home too.  Because I get the pit you're stuck in, but more than that, I get the blessed hand that is powerful enough to pull us out.

I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear And will trust in the LORD.…  (Psalm 40:1-3)

But you're not there yet.  You're just hurting.

"Anger, discontentment, lack of patience, a hardened heart..." Your words and wounds astound me as you ask for prayer.  You're so aware of your sin-stained angry tendencies. You recognize your problem, you recognize your need of saving, you cry out and ask for prayer...  That's powerful, POWERFUL stuff! Acknowledging the problem stirs in us a desperate need for a miracle-working GOD to do the heavy lifting in our transformation.  But it's just the first step.

The First Step -

Crying out to God is just the first step up and out of the pit.

But there is more to be done!  More steps to take in this treacherous "CHANGE ME JESUS" journey.

For years I made that first step regularly... daily... nightly... over and over, crying "Lord, change me, help me, make me more like you." But the recognition never made its way from tears to transformation until I started taking more steps in the Spirit.

We are absolutely right to ask God to change us, but we also need to take more faith-filled steps. Simple daily steps that say to Him, "I know You are faithful to do the transforming work, so I'm going to do a bit of work too... I'm going to whisper today instead of shout - I'm going to give gentle tuck-ins tonight instead of hurried exasperated ones - I'm going to get into a relationship with a Godly woman who can model right behavior for me - I'm going to set my alarm clock 30 minutes before my family gets up so that I can read my devotional on the treadmill - I'm going to partner with a friend who struggles with the same heart challenges so that we can pray for one another, serve one another, care for one another in the messiest places of life."

When sin overwhelms, recognition must give way to repentance. Take the first step of repentance.  Don't just feel bad and cry out for help... take His hand and let Him lift you.  Keep the steps moving forward, then make a U-turn, putting one righteous foot in front of the faithful other!  Walk yourself, in the power of God's Holy Spirit, out of bondage and into deliverance.  It is possible.  Step by step, by faithful, gentle, step.

You may have heard it said,

"To triumph you need only to try... God provides the Umph!"

Try... little steps, every day. Every day, little steps.

You've already called out to Him, that was the first step.

You felt conviction and you repented. Two more mighty steps.

Now what?

Abide, gather tools, and practice self-control...

Little steps to practice each faithful day

Step one - Get in God's Word. God tells us clearly that the fruit of His Spirit in our lives is love, but we can only bear fruit when we're securely attached to the vine.  He is the vine, we are the branches... apart from Him we can do nothing. Abide in His Word.  Abide in His love.

Step two -  Get practical.  Take a simple sheet of lined paper, or the notepad app on your iphone, or the front page in a brand new journal.  Write down the triggers that make you feel overwhelmed or frustrated, and come up with a game plan of how you will train your children without explosive anger.  How will you respond when they... what will you say when they say... what will you do when they... Come up with a game plan and don't let yourself be swept away by unprepared emotional responses any more.

Step three - Let go of the monitor "Angry Mom".  I addressed you as such only to get your attention (search engines really do work!) But now that you're here and we're talking, let me say that you are simply "Mom".  Mom.  Renounce the anger and remember what's true.  You do not hate them, and you do not hate yourself.  You are simply Mom, and it's hard, but there's love and the promise of God making all things new.  Renounce the anger and remember the love.

One little step at a time.