Let's talk backtalk

When your children were young, you spoke words of life into their little beings. They cooed and you cooed back. You whispered blessings over them as they slept and told them “you are SO BIG” when they were so tiny. You had no intention of ever berating your babies. Even if you yourself were raised in a home full of heated arguments, explosive and loud, you never intended to pass that legacy down. And so you sang Scripture promises and memorized the golden rule. You were proactive in using tender words and shared the old adage, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” And through it all you held great hope that your family would build each other up with lips dripping honey. But before long, the honey grew rancid, and began tasting more like vinegar on your tongue. Within only a few short years, your toddler proved defiant, difficult, and demanding—as is their job at two. And you grew angry.

Since the start of those “terrible twos,” a battle of words has raged between you and them; amongst siblings in backseats, and teenagers with backtalk. It started with simple “No, Mommy, no…” when changing diapers or serving peas, but before long, toddler lips pursed in negative words grew into loud yelling matches. And you’re plain worn out from the warring and the shame. You want to retreat, but their constant bantering sets you off faster than anything else. It’s your trigger —Kaboom! You bring out the big guns and end the skirmish with a few choice words, because your voice is the loudest.

The problem with this battle strategy is that when we attempt to discipline them with our own aggressive voices, we usurp the teachable moments. In other words, we steal the show with our own fit throwing. Think of it this way: When our children do wrong and we stay calm and controlled, they know that they’ve done wrong. They do! They know it down to their convicted little cores! There is power when we bend down, touch their shoulders, and look them in the eyes. “That wasn’t a nice thing to say; can you try again?” However, when we exchange angry words for angry words, nasty face for nasty face, slamming door for slamming door, and tear them down with our words because they tore us down with theirs, they will never feel remorse for their own actions. We have hijacked that teachable moment. It’s simple, but it’s true!

I think this is what God means in Romans 2:4: “God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.” When we learn to parent like God parents us, out of a calm and stable sense of our own authority, our children have the holy opportunity to experience true repentance. They feel a healthy heartache over it and take ownership of their sin in the quiet spaces that we don’t demolish with our loud and constant nagging. What a gift we give them when we stay in control. What a gift they forfeit when we blow up and talk back to their backtalk.

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! (Proverbs 15:23 NLT)

Yelling back at them when they yell is never the right thing at the right time. And so today we are slowing down in the quiet of these words to make a plan, that we might see the moments when they backtalk not as invitations to fight, but as opportunities to lead them kindly to repentance.

Before you react, consider the right response.

I have chosen, in moments void of conflict, a few phrases to use when their words are full of venom. Words like, “Son, I know that you don’t want to fight with me. When you are ready to talk, I am ready to listen.” Of course, this doesn’t immediately quench their anger, so often I firmly tell them, “I need you to spend some time in your room so that you don’t hurt our relationship with your words. Please stay there until I come to you. Then you will have a chance to tell me what’s on your mind in a kind way.”

[Tweet "Figure out what you mean to say before you say something mean. #triggersbook"]

Of course, because they’re all amped up and ready for a fight, they often push through our gentle firewall with more back-talking reasons why they won’t go to their room. Or they go and come immediately out with equally loud reasons why they are right and I’m an ogre! But I’ve made a commitment to The Lord, to myself, and to my family to not engage in the battle any more. So I walk them back to their room and repeat myself, “I will not fight you. I will talk with you in a little bit. Please wait for me.”

In the quiet that follows, I remind myself that my children are allowed to make wrong choices; God calls this freewill. It is not my job to strangle them into submission. I am responsible to navigate my own free choices, not control theirs. I can only hold captive my own tongue, leading by example, training them to do likewise, but I cannot badger them into repentance. Lord knows I’ve tried!

Which leads me to prayer. Only the Holy Spirit can meet my children in these quiet times, convicting their hearts, and in His kindness lead them to repentance and lasting change. Moms and dads, we have the awesome privilege to pray for our children. Pray for their hearts and their words.

I have received letters from exasperated moms, confessing to actually cussing at their young children and teenagers. They are shocked by their anger and the ease with which curse words and shaming blows flow out of their hearts. Parents are desperate for change—more desperate to change their own hearts than to change their children.

Do we want to see our children obey? Of course! Are we prayerful that their words will be gentle and honoring? Absolutely. But we can’t force peace to well up within them and spill out over their lips. That’s not our job. We can only control our own tongues, as we yield to the power of the Holy Spirit at work in us.

Today’s post is an except from the new book Triggers: Exchanging Parent’s Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses. If you struggle with anger in your home from the sheer effort of it all, if you find yourself yelling at your children, I want you to know you're not alone. There's a whole army of moms and dads pursuing better, more Christlike ways to respond to their children. Join us.

Do Not Be Afraid - resources for your sugar fast

We're about to begin our 2nd Annual 40 Day Sugar Fast. And I'm excited, but a little fearful if I'm honest. Sugar's like crack cocaine to plenty of women I know - myself included - and detoxing coffee creamers, afternoon brownies, and that late night scoop of ice cream is no small thing. Over in our private Facebook Group, 40 Day Sugar Fast, thousands of women are already gathering, confessing to one their addictions... right along with their fears of failure. I thought to myself earlier today, "Wendy, you need to begin this fast immediately, like right now! These ladies need to be covered in prayer." So I did. I started my sugar fast a few days early, to prayerfully intercede and get my heart ready to lead the charge. Two hours in... everything started falling apart. My homeschooled kid couldn't focus, the other two came home from school emotional wrecks, and my husband came down with an intense headache. I'll tell you the truth, I wanted to cave because I couldn't use SUGAR TO COPE! You should have heard my inner dialogue back peddling. "Aw come on, girl, you never told anyone you were starting early. Self-medicate with a that leftover Easter cake."

And all I have to say is: Be afraid, be very afraid!

But here's the truth, we don't need to fear. We have the spirit of The Resurrected, sin-conquering, life-renewing, "I can do all things through Him" Savior of the world! Does that mean there won't be opposition? No. This will likely be tough for many of us. However, we don't need to fear! We are more than conquerors through Him who gives us strength! We are making the active, healthy, faith-filled, God-honoring choice for change.

[Tweet "God's Holy Spirit is all about changing and transforming the hearts and health and homes of people in bondage. Always has been! "]

"I came to set the captives free..." Jesus read from the scroll, fulfilling  that ancient prophesy. And so we can trust: the same Savior who died for our sins, rose again, overcoming every sin and snare, is powerful enough to walk us out of this mess we're in.

"The same power that raised Jesus from the grave lives in us." We just sang it Easter morning, let's live like we believe it!

"The LORD is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1) I read these words just this morning to my boys. I'm reading them again tonight for myself, and passing them along to you. Fear not! "...because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world." (1 John 4:4)

We are going to be clinging to scriptures just like these in the days ahead. Our next post will give you plenty of Biblical truth to feast upon as you  fast. However, if you would like another book or two to accompany you upon this journey, here are a few suggestions:

 

Lysa TerKeurst's, Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food. Doesn't the title just about say it all? Here's a short description: "Made to Crave is the missing link between a woman’s desire to be healthy and the spiritual empowerment necessary to make that happen. The reality is we were made to crave. Craving isn’t a bad thing. But we must realize God created us to crave more of him."

Similarly, Lysa's other book, Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions, is a great resource for those moms who simply can't hold themselves together. (Our sugar intake, may be contributing to the problem!) This may be a good time to address some of these issues.

Triggers: Exchanging Parents' Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses, is another parenting book that address those shameful times we explode inappropriately at our children, rather than react with gentleness and grace. These forty days would be well spent addressing some of our emotional, sugar-induced parenting problems.

For those of you looking for some help with how to eat a more raw / whole foods diet during our fast. Let me suggest trying Rick Warren's, The Daniel Plan: 40 Days to a Healthier Life, or The Whole30: The 30-Day Guide to Total Health and Food Freedom by Melissa and Melissa and Dallas Hartwig.

Perhaps you need to fast and pray, sweet mom

Welcome to our series, "You are not a victim, you're a mom!" Today we are peeling back the lies and remembering what is true!

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She grabbed hold of my wrist, tight like a shackle, and leaned in close. I could smell the morning’s coffee on her breath and saw the weariness in her eyes at the start of another powerless day. “I can’t do this anymore…” She whispered it frantically again, “I can’t do this anymore… I hate this and I can’t do this anymore. I hate myself and I hate my kids and I hate my life. And I can’t do this...”

Our children were playing together at the park and we’d just put our things down. All I had asked was a simple, “How you doing?” and out it poured, from the heart of a pent-up woman standing too terribly close to the brink. And the most frightening part of all was that she could have been you, she could have been me. A simple, well-intentioned, loving mom and wife who was taking the fiery arrows of the devil's lies right in the heart. She clutched me like I could save, because she knew she was going down.

You are not a victim, you're a mom!

Jesus rebuked him, and the demon came out of him, and the boy was cured at once. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, “Why could we not drive it out?” And He said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you. [“But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”] (Matthew 17:18-21)

Can a woman, in-dwelt by the Holy Spirit of God, be possessed by Satan and his demons? No, I don’t believe she can. But she can be oppressed. So thoroughly oppressed she feels possessed. Though unable to claw his way into our souls, somehow his ugly whispers can seep into our thought-life like sulfuric poison. Slipping in stealthily, his lies make their bed in our minds.

I know this full well, because, like this sweet friend of mine, I’d found myself speaking similar lies as though they belonged to me. “I'm not good enough; I don't love enough; if I were more spiritual… then it would be different, I’d have the fruit of God’s Spirit baring fruit instead of this rancid stuff...”

Alone in my room I’d cry out night after night, “That’s not the truth, Satan you’re not welcome here! I love my family, I can do this, I love my kids, I love myself. I am fearfully and wonderfully made! They are fearfully and wonderfully made! I can do all things through Christ who gives me His strength. He is stronger than you are and He’s going to win in the end. So get out of here, you bastard! Christ is my peace, in His presence there is fulness of joy. I choose to consider these present trials as my joy, knowing that the testing of my faith will produce endurance, that I might be perfect and complete lacking in nothing when these present challenges are all over…” These were my words, night after night. Out they'd fly, scripture-truth hidden for years, combating the enemy’s fiery darts.

But still, the war raged on. I wanted a sudden victory, asked for salvation to flood my mind. Still, day after day, negative thoughts about myself, my kids, and my marriage slipped from my lips in the quiet chamber of my room as everyone napped and I folded clothes. Then I’d sob again, “I keep praying, I keep believing, why is he not fleeing from me?”

One night these words came quick like an answer: “…this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.”

The very next day I reached out to a Godly woman and asked her to pray over me, to pray over my entire home. I didn’t tell her much, just asked her to pray. Of course she came fasting and praying.

* Let me preface this by saying that I wasn’t raised in a Holy Spirit, standing-up-raising-hands-anointing-each-other-in-oil-and-speaking-in-tongues home, but this friend of mine did all the above.

After praying over me, she told me to keep my eyes closed, then asked what I was seeing.

And I was seeing.

I saw Jesus, clear as day, on His knees with His fingers in rich soft soil. And I knew in an instant that the soil was my heart. There were weeds all around and he was gently combing through the supple dirt and lifting out each gnarly root. When he got to one particularly terrible weed I gasped, because there seemed to be no end to the root system. As He pulled, I felt my heart being pulled physically. I started weeping, uncontrollably, shaking and crying as she gently stroked my back. All the while, Jesus was pulling gently and the serpent-like body of the root system kept coming up and up and up without end. Finally I cried out loud, “There is no end to my pain! There is no end… I cannot do this… I hate this… I hate this… I hate this… It will never get better.”

Crying even now at the memory – ashamed to confess the home those lies had made for themselves in my soul. But the story goes on… because Jesus kept pulling, and the woman who had fasted on my behalf kept praying, and eventually the claw-like root was torn from the earth and cast aside.

There I was, torn apart and empty in the end. But this dear woman didn’t let me rest, immediately she asked what I needed to replace the lies with. I started weakly mumbling truth, “I love my children, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, God knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give our family hope and a future. I love my children.” My voice grew stronger. “I love my children and I love my husband. And I trust You Lord! You did a good job when you wove me together in my mother’s womb!” And stronger still. “I trust You!”

Only a time or two in these past years have I been tempted to let those lies slip back in. But I know whose voice it is now. They are not my thoughts. And so today, as we wrap up this series aptly titled, "You are not a victim, you're a mom," let me encourage you to remember what is true. You do not hate your children. You do not hate your life. You are not less than the women to your right or to your left. You are incredible, as a matter of fact! And your husband does love you. And Christ will redeem your brokenness, because that is what He came to do – repair and redeem and restore.

So much wonderful truth to implant in the bare and fertile soil of our hearts, especially when we fast and pray.

Ladies, I have had the awesome privilege of leading thousands of women through our annual 40 Day Sugar Fast. You can sign up to receive 40 days of devotions to guide you through this physical detox which works more like a Spiritual fast! Sign up today, if this series about the victim mentality of motherhood resonated with you, if you are battling lies straight from the pit, if you are having a miserable time tasting and seeing that the Lord is good in this season, if you struggle to control your emotions, run to the pantry for a handful of chocolate chips or a sugary mocha to get you through each hard afternoon, I invite you to join us for this fast. 

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“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1) “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32) “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36) “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” (2 Corinthians 3:17) “He has not given you a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and a sound mind through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

(2 Timothy 1:7)

What lies do you need Jesus, the very gardener of our souls, to pull out by the root? What seeds of truth should you implant in their stead, so that you are never again enslaved by shame?

Jesus is alive and He came to set us free! Therefore, we most assuredly are not victims! Join us in this next series, as we learn to fast and pray as moms - renouncing lies, believing truth!

If you are interested in fasting along with me, sign up today.

"Even now," declares the LORD, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning."(Joel 2:12)

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If you struggle with feeling powerless in your mothering, and are desperate for God's strength to carry you through those long, emotionally taxing, mothering days, I encourage you to dive into Triggers. Co-authored with Amber Lia, Triggers: Exchanging Parents' Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses, is a series of 31 short chapters each designed to help you believe what is true... even when your little people are pushing your buttons.

Order your copy of Triggers today.

Defining humble

I was taught years ago that the word humble means low to the ground. Perhaps I got that from Charlotte's Web. Yes, I think that's it. Of course, since the time that elegant spider spun her theology lesson into my heart I've read all the dictionary definitions and still think this "low to the ground" word picture sums it up best.

Humble.

Prostrate.

Low to the ground.

And yet, humility isn't a self-deprecating, self-loathing, self-abasing sort of thing. Infact there's very little "self" focus at all, in the heart of the truly humble. Kneeling beside the vastness and grandeur of an omnipotent and yet personal God, who knows the hungry child in Africa, and the divorcee struggling with shame just down the pew; kneeling low is where we catch a view of His expansive greatness. The radical power of God, who shook off the lofty glories of heaven to rescue every sinner in need of grace, bending low to deliver His Salvation. And so we bend low.

Yes, I bend low.

Humbled.

Standing in our backyard last night, exactly two weeks after my dear friend Amber Lia and I launched our book Triggers out into the world, I watched God paint a fresh masterpiece across the skyline. Alone in the quiet, a damp kitchen towel still in my hands, the sound of my children shooting hoops out front, it occurred to me that God, in his omni-present power, was simultaneously at work beyond my horizon too - bringing His creative brilliance to every inch of every galaxy known and unknown, far beyond the orange hues of my limited view and comprehension.

It was all too big for the smallness of me.

I've only an inkling of His great bigness, and the might of His outstretched arm. Still, what I do know, has the power to raise me up in faith, yet keeps me ever low. I live in this paradox of a lifted up / bowed down life.

Two weeks, 16 days, and thousands of copies of  Triggers later, and the only word that begins to express my emotions is humbled. And the part of it all that keeps me lowest to the ground, are the testimonies of transformation we're receiving each day - whether on Amazon or in our private inboxes.

Because God is doing something so obviously BIG, I can't help but feel small. It's much too much for me.

As a matter of fact, there have been times these past couple of weeks that I've felt like a fraud in the face of it all, because I know my own on-going sin-tendencies. I know my heart struggles and my home struggles. I could go into detail of my continued shortcomings, and confess, like the apostle Paul, to doing the things I don't want to do. But I'm not going to say all that today - because that isn't where true humility resides. The point isn't putting ourselves down, focusing on our failures (though they are many) but recognizing from that down-low position, the great big saving hand of a faithful God.

Oh, He is big! And His big love is continually made strong in our on-going weaknesses. And so today, I lift my head in praise, because He is doing some heavy lifting in the lives of women. And I am humbled, so very humbled and pleased, to be near enough to this work that He is doing, to see Him move.

Humbled,

Wendy

PS - I leave you with an Amazon testimony below, written by a woman named Sheryl, WHO EXPERIENCED THE  GREAT-BIG STRENGTH OF THE GOSPEL IN THE PAGES OF OUR LITTLE BOOK!

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"I tire of Christian mommy self-help books. I've been introduced to quite a few through the M.O.M.S. group at our church, Facebook moms' groups and recommendations from friends. I've read and enjoyed a few, and I've enjoyed the conversation that a few a them spurred in my groups. But I tire of their step-by-step messages of how to fix this and do that better. I tire of their subtle guilt-inducing yet pandering and condescendingly sugary message, as if I am a tender thing to be coddled while a list of my failings is laid before me. I know they mean well, and some of them even contain the truth...somewhere. While I reject their trite offerings of an easy fix, I am ever aware that this mothering thing I'm doing is hard, that I'm failing at it in significant ways, and that there must be hope for doing it right, loving my little ones well, growing in grace.

This is not one of those books.

I've seen reviewers call this book honest, practical, biblical, and helpful, and it is all of those things. But this is not why I love this book. What Amber and Wendy have done for parents is beautiful and far beyond self-help or practical advice. You will not find in this book a message of sticky-sweet guilt accompanied by a list of things to do, quotes to pin on your mirror, and charts to make everything better. What you will find is the gospel, sometimes spoken in brutal honesty, but also in tender grace and humility.

See, the thing that tires me about all of those other books is that I know, to the core of my being, that I cannot just set my mind to be a good mom and make it all come out roses. I am weak, and I am a sinner, and I fail. I can memorize your list of alliterated correct responses to my triggers and somehow call that to mind when it seems like all the world is crumbling around me, but that won't save me, change me, or grow gentleness in me. That is the point of the gospel, and that is on glorious display in this book.

Whether you recognize a struggle with anger in your parenting or not, this book is an excellent resource. I don't know that I have ever read a better display of sanctification in progress. This is how it works. This is how God works- through prayerful repentance, humility, and the power of His Word. I started reading thinking I would pick out a few triggers that apply to me and breeze through the rest of it, but it turned out that every chapter arrested me. These are not easy or flippant answers; no cheerleading; this is truth and I think I can breathe again." (Sheryl)

parenting with authority vs. authoritarian parenting

Welcome to Part seven of our series, "You Are Not a Victim, You're a Mom."Today we're talking about our PARENTAL POWER! Actually, that's not entirely true. We're talking about the victim tendency to feel powerless - and the desperate and destructive ways we grasp for that ever elusive power.

Perhaps you're on that teeter-totter, with your belly doing flip flops all day long. One moment you're up, enjoying the view, parenting well, feeling stable and secure, but then suddenly you plummet... losing your sense of power and purpose all over again.

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He threw his scooter down, clenched his fists and cried big tears. All 52 pounds of him was tense and ready for battle, as he tilted his chiseled little chin and dared me to make him.

I took a deep breath then repeated in gentle tones, "Son, it's time to come in and clean up for dinner."

"It's not fair! I was at school all day. I just want to play! I'm not going come in now and I won't."

"I'm not going to... and I won't!" Doesn't that just about sum up the strong-willed child?

And with that he collapsed into a puddle of tears and snot, right there on the asphalt in our driveway. He kicked his helmet to the curb, flopped onto his back, and wailed over the injustice of it all.

Of course, when I take this singular event out of the context of our very full life, I can smirk. Watching him transform into an emotional mess over having to wash his hands and come to the table is actually a little humorous. Bless his heart - all the drama! He's a child, after all, just being childish - and he needs the long-suffering heart of a mother, to keep help him on his road to maturity.

I can do that.

I can do that.

I can handle it!

What I mean to say is: I know how to handle it. Intellectually. One mothering moment at a time.

I know that good mothering requires kind compassion and calm confidence during these stress-filled moments. I know that good parenting is rich with words that build a child up, in order to help them discover their own strength to do the right thing. I know that I am not a victim when they throw a fit, I'm just a mom. Unfortunately, all that good head knowledge melts away in the hours preceding dinner and bedtime, because, sometimes, this mom gets worn out too. And as I lose my physical and emotional strength, I lose my sense of parental strength. That's right, you know where I'm going... victims tend to feel powerless.

angry man -authoritarian

When exhaustion sets in and multi-tasking makes a mother's weary head spin, that one kid isn't just one kid, but one of many brothers, and that one melt-down isn't just one melt-down, but a string of strong-willed fits ricocheting back and forth between children all afternoon. And dinner's getting cold and there's no way I can get the oldest to karate tonight if my husband doesn't make it home from work soon...

The pressure starts to mount and my strength begins to wain.

However, I stay calm and collected, as I walk to the littlest of my children, still splayed across the driveway. I put my hand on his cheek and tell him that I know he's able to get his things picked up and come in. I remind him of his own strength to keep on doing right.

Miracle of miracles he believes my encouragement, hugs me, asks for forgiveness and goes to gather his things.

Just then the sound of my other two boys, arguing in the garage over who was supposed to take the trash bags up the driveway, works like the proverbial straw that broke this Mama's back. I come undone, in an instant.

Heat floods my face. Tears prick my eyes.

In that one moment, I decide (without really thinking it through) that I've had enough. My last good moment of parenting is behind me for the night! I glare at the older two, tell them, "I don't want to hear about it! Both of you grab a trash bag and take them up to the street then clean up for dinner! And if you argue again, you can just..." That's when I stop parenting and start threatening!

That's what we do when we lose our sense of God-given authority to parent well - we stop parenting and start threatening. And that's exactly what happened that sad afternoon I stormed into my house to reheat the chicken.

There at the microwave, watching the pyrex dish circle round and round, I melted into a bigger, uglier puddle than the one my child had made just a few short mothering moments before.

I stood there feeling powerless, shoulders slumped and slightly shaking, as all the good parenting head knowledge collected at my feet.

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Here are three things I discovered about personal parental power.

1) Almost always, inappropriate displays of power explode from feelings of powerlessness. 

Moms seldom lash out when they have a secure sense of their own authority. It is from that place that we must parent one good, solid, kind, right, loving moment at a time. Though the storm clouds continue to threaten and the waves toss us hither and yon as the sun sinks low, we know the One who calms the sea. He is the God who put us at the helm of our home each mothering day. A healthy understanding of our God-given role allows us to remain calm and controlled when our children continue to be children... When we lose sight of our true role (to parent) we begin feeling like victims.

2) All the good head knowledge in the world will fail you if you don't have a plan to parent right when they're behaving wrong.

What does being the authority in your home actually look like during the stressful moments? While authoritarian parenting is all about quick obedience and harsh consequences, parenting with a healthy sense of one's God-given authority looks like one mature, loving choice after another, all day long - and sometimes through the nighttime hours too. Let me suggest, here and now, that you choose just one recurring conflict in your home, and decide (in this moment of peace,) with the help of your good mothering head-knowledge, how you want to respond from here on out? The plan is simple, moms and dads, but first you must make a plan!

3) Study God's calm and kind approach to parenting.

Again and again we see God parent His people Israel, not as an angry, punishing authoritarian, but as a loving father concerned about His children's slow-growing spiritual maturity. Over and over again He reaches out to them with covenant promises of love. Even in their discipline, when they are removed to painful "time outs," He reminds them of His love, and the overwhelming promise that God the Father desires an intimate and ongoing, right relationship with His kids. God uses His parental power appropriately, not to chase us away - but to chase us down! This is redemption!

Of course, we cannot save our kids, where true salvation is concerned, but we can emulate our Heavenly Father by parenting just like Him... with a calm and kind, long-suffering sense of our role as parents - one mothering moment at a time.

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Our current series, "You are not a victim, you're a mom" is inspired by the new book TRIGGERS: Exchanging Parents' Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses.  If you struggle with anger in your home from the sheer effort of it all, if you find yourself yelling at your little ones, feeling like a victim, and weighed down by shame, I encourage to order your copy of Triggers today. I’ll continue speaking to this confusing issue of Mommy-Anger in the weeks ahead. If you'd like to receive this series directly to your inbox, click here!